Magical Madness
by Speedy Speck
Summary: Elena, Tseng, Reno and Tifa are on a group date, when they come by an old shop run by some dude called 'Merlin', though when he lets his assistant Yuffie show them around, things start getting weird...One-Shot...Written for 'The Sacred and Profane'


Disclaimer: Final Fantasy does not belong to me...however much I may like it to. I own no characters, places etc. etc. so please don't sue me! I'm a nice person :)

Author's Note: Sixty-Sixth fanfic...Written for 'The Sacred and Profane'...PLEASE review as I really enjoy reading your views and they inspire me to get better! It would make me very very happy! Anyway stop reading this and get on with reading the fic! Hope you enjoy! :)

The two young women strolled along together, their closest arms locked, whilst their heads leant slightly to the side, blonde and brunette strands brushing against them, as they chatted away to one another.

A few metres behind them walked their Turk boyfriends, whom, unlike their female companions, had allowed for a safe distance between their own bodies, whilst also keeping their lips clamped shut, leaving them in a rather natural silence.

Reno wasn't one for group dates, and neither was his raven-haired superior, though it was also true to say that it was impossible for them to say no to either Tifaor Elena, after all, bothwere rather forceful women; a fact that both men had come to accept soon after entering into their relationships.

In their eyes it was hardly their idea of a romantic date, as both males wanted their feminine counter-parts to themselves, but then again it was somewhat refreshing, every once in a while, to do something a little different, plus the 'friendly' atmosphere did help to lay off some of the attentive 'couple' pressure.

The group of love birds had met up just under an hour previous, and after sharing a brief coffee together, they had found themselves, rather to the delight of the two females, within minutes reach of Edge's shopping district.

Elena and Tifa were just about to turn into the next street, which would in turn lead them directly into the market place centred within the hub of the most desired and also most expensive looking shops, when something caught the blonde Turk's attention, and soon she was dragging the brunette across the road and over to a rather heavily set back store front.

''Oh, this place looks interesting!'' Tseng smiled at his girlfriend's excitement, as she pushed her face up against the display window.

Tifa leaned in to admire the arrangement of odd, yet rather intriguing items, ''Wow...I think this place needs a closer inspection.''

The red head shoulders slumped, whilst his face pulled itself into a pleading grimace, ''Babe, do we have to? It smells a bit...'' he made a point to wrinkle his nose after taking a hesitant sniff, ''...musty''

His girlfriend beamed widely, ''Mmm isn't it wonderful!''

''Sir?'' Reno turned to his superior for support, but soon found the raven-haired Turk already held within the thralls of Elena, as she dragged him through the large, splintered oak door.

The interior was just as shadowy and 'olde worlde' in atmosphere as it had appeared from the window, though there was also a distinct increase in the hints of glittering enchantment, as their eyes roamed of the unique items which seemed simple in their design, yet technical in their use.

The red headed Turk gave a huff of disinterest and lazily made his way to the store counter, where he proceeded to tap out a series of harmonic 'dings' on the silver shop-bell.

Just as the seventh tap began to resonate, a rather wrinkled, and rather beard coated form popped up from a seemingly invisible tap door, and allowed a slow, welcoming smile to spread across his worn skin, ''Good afternoon.''

''Hey there...'' Reno squinted as he read the name 'Merlin' imprinted upon the tag pinned to the owner's cloak. His brow raised of its own accord out of amusement, '_Merlin'...right... _''...so Merl, what is it exactly that you sell here?''

The man's beard jiggled as a deep chuckle pasted through his lips, ''Anything and everything that's weird and wonderful...''

Reno rolled his eyes, as a rather embarrassed looking Tifa stepped in, ''Hello, sorry about him...I don't suppose you could show us around? So we know what we're looking at?''

Merlin slowly started to twirl a bristly strand of beard around one of his fingers, ''I myself am actually in the middle of deciphering a rather ancient manuscript, just arrived this morning, straight from a rather old ruin in Scotland, but I'm sure my assistant will make more than an adequate guide.''

Tifa nodded appreciatively as the store owner began scanning the area for said assistant.

When his eyes failed in their mission, he resorted to calling, ''Yuffie...'' A couple of seconds passed with no response, ''Yuffie.'' another short silence passed, before his patience seemingly broke, and his voice was allowed to bellow over the shop floor, ''YUFFIE!''

Almost immediately, the familiar, energetic form appeared, gleeful smile gracing her delicate lips, with her darkened hair parted only by a sapphire shaded headband, flashing views of her sparkling, youthful eyes, ''The great ninja Yuffie at your service!''

Her face brightened measurably as she finally took notice of the identity of her new customers, ''Oh hi you guys!''

The blonde Turk allowed her attention to switch from the rather strange golden sphere she and Tsenghad been admiring, to the ninja, as her brow furrowed with curiosity, ''You work here?''

''You bet ya'! And I'm th best assistant ever! We're gunna have a blast!''

Reno tilted his head backwards and groaned, ''Oh Shiva...''

* * *

Yuffie was definitely an effective guide, in the sense that she demanded upon showing, and demonstrating each and every item displayed within grasping range, and although the various demonstrations of supposed 'magical items' were interesting, the group seemed decidedly unimpressed by the lack of 'explosive' effects being given.

Sensing their dragging attention, the young ninja swiftly began to form a plan, and within seconds of the idea's completion, she started to put it into action, quickly darting off into one the darker display cabinets and riffling through its contents.

The group were talking amongst themselves when the shop assistant returned, though this time she held a new object within her cupped hands, and it was glowing rather profusely.

''Ok guys, get ready to see something amazing!''

Reno smirked, ''What? Are you actually gunna keep still for move than five seconds?''

The ninja's nose crinkled as her facial muscles contorted in suppressed annoyance, ''Listen here Turk boy, this sphere contains some of the purest magic around! It's powerful and extremely unpredictable.''

Tifa took an almost unnoticeable step back from the young girl and the ominous looking item, ''Yuffie...are you sure you should be...'' she paused before shifting her form ever so slightly behind her red headed boyfriend, ''I mean, are you certain you should be even touching that?''

Yuffie gave a dramatically over-played huff, ''Yeah! Of course I am! I'm the greatest ninja ever, the most beautiful Princess of Wutai and-''

Before she could continue on the self-proclaiming rant, the rounded item brightness increased beyond belief and soon the beaming light had hit the entire area surrounding the four customers, while managing to avoid Yuffie and the rest of the shop floor.

The blinding ray disappeared as quickly as it had formed, leaving the group to stand in a confused silence for a rather lingering period, as each tired to figure out what had or might have happened.

They didn't have to wait very long before the effects of the sphere became apparent, as Reno's once full head of flame-red spikes slowly began to slide down from his skull, and over his cheeks, coming to rest only once they'd reached his chin, upon which they sat like a rather large, overgrown beard.

''What...'' The now bald, but bearded Turk seemed oblivious to his new look, and allowed his brow to furrow as his girlfriend, and his co-worker's studied him with amused befuddlement, ''Do I have something on my face?''

Elena's mouth dropped open as a wisp of a chuckle escaped, ''I'll say.'' The moment her lips had sounded out the breathy words, a strange feeling overcame her, and she suddenly felt an undeniable attraction towards the hairy co-worker, and before she could stop herself, the young blonde had wrapped her arms around her neck, whilst laying many a supposedly 'comforting' kiss upon any free patch of skin, ''Oh Re, it's ok! We'll get you fixed! I'm sorry for making you come here...''

At that moment, Reno had expected his brunette girlfriend to step in and pull the offending mental copy of herself from its current attachment to his lips, but instead his aquamarine gaze found itself staring directly at a rather impressed, and also quite entertained looking Tifa, whose hands were slumped lazily inside her trouser pockets, whilst her blouse collar had instinctively been pulled to a standing height.

She seemingly continued to observe them for only a few more moments, before quickly turning her attention towards her own appearance, and most notably, her hair, which she was soon busy attempting to pull into a various selection of spikes, whilst mumbling to herself in a hushed admiration, ''Now that is hot...''

Tsengon the hand didn't seem interested in any of their antics, but instead was rather preoccupied with stroking and smelling nearly every item within reach, before proclaiming it to be 'amazing', including the ninja, whom, while unaffected, seemed really quite entranced by the spectacle.

This strangeness continued for a couple of minutes, before again, without warning, the sphere still held within Yuffie'shands, gave another effective flash, forcing each customer to give a rather snapping jolt of the head, though soon enough both couples seemed to fall, once again, under some odd enchantment.

The red beard returned to its rightful place upon the young Turk's head, and he proceeded to stand completely still for a moment, as he observed his body, now free from Elena's grasp, though the suit didn't seem to be what was interesting him, but rather the fact that he, Tseng, leader of the Turk's, was quite clearly in the wrong body.

The form of the raven-haired male however was not busy studying itself with fear, but seemingly rather busy inspecting itself with some smirking curiosity, an airing expression which only increased as it pulled against the belted material of his trousers, and the following cotton rim of his boxers.

Tseng swiftly strode over the body which in actual fact, should have been his, and pulled back the familiar hands from the chosen garment ''Reno...''

Reno smiled nervously, though the expression seemed out of place upon his superior's face, which had had been forced to wear, ''Sorry Sir just...wondered is all.''

Before either could continue in their _discussion _of the right and wrong things to do during a body swap, they were cut off by a rather loud, high-pitched note, which had erupted from the brunette's throat.

They watched as she proceeded to prance about the small wood panelled area, singing out many a resonating note; seemingly performing some unknown musical to an unseen audience.

Tseng took his eyes off the newly created distraction, only to find himself staring at a familiar blonde, whom was standing less than two centimetres from on of the hanging mirrors, seemingly utterly transfixed by her refection.

He approached her, signs of concern buried within the lines upon his brow, ''Elena...are you ok?''

She, on the other hand, beamed happily, though didn't take the time to shift her gaze, but rather kept it intently focused upon the mirrored surface, ''I'm more than ok! I'm beautiful...stunning...beyond amazing!''

The now red headed superior sighed, though not with exasperation, as a small, almost adoring smile graced his usually straight laced lips, ''I already knew that...''

Reno, whom had been attempting, quite fruitlessly, to halt his brunette girlfriend in her musical exertions, turned to the young ninja, with an expression filled with both high annoyance and desperate pleading, ''Yuffie...''

The petite, young girl fidgeted on the spot for a few seconds before, quite suddenly, it seemed like an idea came to mind, as she jumped up in excitement, ''Don't worry, I can fix this!''

It all happened so quickly that neither couple was able to catch a glimpse of Yuffie's seemingly brilliant method, though the bright light was only allowed to cover them for a moment, before its flow was stemmed and absorbed back within the sphere, which plonked down to the ground with a gentle, metallic thud, leaving no trace or hint of where or what had happened to the young ninja.

Elena blinked a couple of times, though swiftly proceeded to turn her chocolaty gaze from the red head beside her, to her boyfriend standing beside Tifa, and then over to the empty quiet space just metres ahead, where the young assistant should have stood, ''Where'd she go?''

Reno shrugged, as he strolled over to the breathless form of his brunette girlfriend, from whom he received a soft kiss, to which he chuckled warmly, ''Now that's what a call magic...''

* * *

''I am very sorry about all of this.'' The cloaked store owner smiled apologetically at the four customers, whom were looking a little flustered, though were definitely cheered by the returned forms, ''I do hope it hasn't _effected _your day too much.''

Elena was the first to respond, and by her warm smirk, she had been quick to get over the bother, and replace it with amusement, and even her raven-haired boyfriend seemed to have relaxed since the magical events, ''Well it was exciting!''

''Yeah...'' The red head wrapped an arm around his girlfriend's curvaceous waist, and sighed in defeat, ''...it was rather fun actually.''

Merlin chuckled with a hint of whimsy ''You are all very gracious...'' within moments he had returned behind the store counter, and proceeded to fiddle with something unseen for a few moments, before returning with a small wooden box, ''I have a parting gift for you all...'' he handed it straight into the hands of Reno, whom was forced to release the brunette to accept the item, ''….think of it as a consolation prize for getting though your _experience_with Yuffie.''

Although it should have set off silent alarm bells within their minds after their most recent dealings with the unknown, the group seemed more intrigued by the mysterious box than alarmed, and soon the four had made their exit from the store, leaving a rather 'knowing' looking Merlin to finish off his work, and also start the search for his disappeared assistant's whereabouts.

* * *

Later that afternoon, the two couples were sprawled out upon the park's sun-warmed emerald green-blades of carefully strimmedgrass, enjoying the peace and quiet mixed with the gentle breeze which carried various snippets of playful laughter and sing-song chirping being emitted from the area's other inhabitants.

After allowing a rather wide, gaping yawn to pass over his lips, the red headed Turk propped himself up upon his elbows and begun stroking a couple of his slender fingers against the smooth, polished surface of the wooden box, ''So, what do you reckon is in this _gift _of ours?''

Tseng and the blonde Turk remained silent, although they did seem to take interest in the subject matter that had arisen; a curiosity which only increased as Tifa joined her boyfriend in his risen position, ''Well we won't know till we open it...''

A solitary eyebrow cocked upon Reno's face, as a smirk played across his thin lips, ''Is that a request?''

The brunette nodded, as her nose crinkled with the cheeky grin spreading over her beautiful features.

A few seconds passed, as the three on-lookers observed the Turk in apprehensive interest, then, without any noticeable warning, the red head flipped open the hinged lid, which in turn allowed the box's contents to spring into action, as each of them were blinded temporarily by a white-bright flash, which in turn faded to a silvery glitter, before disappearing completely.

''Oh dear...'' The blonde Turk had been the first to regain her voice after taking in the rather altered group, though when she spoke, she too found herself effected, as her tone came out as being one of a toddler, rather than a fully grown adult.

Tifaon the other hand, had not gotten off so lightly, as her once delicately shaped nose had been replaced with a flat, piggy snout, whilst her well-formed behind had gained the attachment of a twirled, cork-screw tail.

The two men had also received a healthy dose of what ever had been contained within the gift, with Tseng's once raven-black hair being lightened into a rather shocking shade of pink, and whilst Reno got to keep the shade of his locks, they had in turn been transformed, and shaped into a thick, lion's mane.

Elena gasped in a heightened tone, as she spotted a small piece of paper concealed within the box's base, ''There's a note!'' she quickly proceeded to grab said item, and read it through several times, before repeating its message to the rest of the group, with her youthful voice attempting to mimic the shop-owner's frail, but enchanting air, ''_Although your day has not gone as planned, I hope this bit of magic will make your evening anything but bland.''_

A lingering silence few over the two couples, before the blonde once again decided to break the silence, and once again, she seemed to be the quickest to accept the situation, ''Well...if it's just for the evening...'' She flashed her partner, and her friends a beaming smile of playful excitement, which was decidedly infectious, as the group began to chuckle uncontrollably and Reno made a mental note that maybe group dates weren't as boring as he'd thought.

* * *

Merlin drew the pen's nib across the dried, thin surface of the aged paper, as he scribbled various markings down upon it; the wet ink allowing the metallic item motion with a degree of grace.

He flicked the piece of writing equipment up as his attention passed over to the next mass of texts he'd been asked to investigate, though before he allowed himself to move on completely, the cloaked man placed the written-upon item on top of a small pile of pre-deciphered paper's, before replacing a well-sized, yet easily movable statue upon their height.

The decorative item gave a muffled squeak, causing him to cast his attention upon it with some degree of tired annoyance, ''I'll turn you back once I'm finished Yuffie...'' he gave the frozen form a quick scan, as his eyes glinted witha smug sort of mischief, ''And in the meantime...'' Merlin picked up one of the text books with a hinting smile, hidden behind his beard, ''You make a great paper weight.''

* * *

A/N= Hopefully this was ok :) And sorry again to 'The Sacred and Profane' for its lateness...


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